His name is Abubakar Malaika, popularly known as Zamani.
We first met in 2018 in Lagos. We got so close that he even got to spend some time in my house back then, when I used to live with my family. Then I moved to Abuja in 2019 and lost contact with him.
However, we reconnected early last month on Tinder, where I told him I was now based in Abuja. He signified interest in wanting to come over. I was cool with it. He asked for a little assistance with his transport fare, saying that the person he was coming to meet would give him the money back. I obliged and made a transfer of 6,000 naira to him. It was two weeks or so before I heard from him saying his money was complete and he’d be coming on a Sunday.
He arrived at my place on Sunday evening and we went to the market together. Monday was a public holiday, so we were home all day. Later that evening, he told me he’d be going to meet the man who was supposed to give him his transport fare back to Benin. I told him it was fine, asking him to be back before 8 PM, because where I stay was recently robbed, and so, there was a strict policy that all passenger gates be locked at 8 PM and the main gate closed by 10 PM prompt.
He was out till past 8 and I called him, telling him that unless he plans to spend the night out, he should please come back, to avoid issues with the management. He came back a few minutes to 9 PM, angry that I cut his date short and that he didn’t get the chance to collect the money. I wondered how long he needed to simply ask the man for the money that he supposedly promised he’d give him. I also told him that he needn’t have come back. He could have spent the night with the man if he wanted to, and he snapped that he didn’t plan to sleep out anywhere.
On Tuesday morning, I went to work, leaving him in the house. When I got back by 6 PM, he told me he was going to meet someone who would help him with the money he needs. I knew it was a hookup but I didn’t say anything. I wondered why he wouldn’t just be honest about his movements; heck, I’d seen him buzzing away on Grindr the previous day. I reminded him to be back before 8. I also told him that I would be having over guests by 7. I’d hoped he would be out of the house to guarantee me and my guests some privacy.
At exactly 7 PM, my guests (two guys) arrived, and suddenly, Zamani was like he wasn’t going out again. I told him I’d already told my friends that he would be going out, and if he had changed his mind, he would have to stay in the empty living room that served as my waiting area (I live in a two-bedroom apartment I share with a flatmate, hence the living room serving as our waiting area) while I tell my friends that he wouldn’t be going out anymore, so they’d be comfortable with his presence.
Zamani was angered by this and flared up in the presence of my friends, before storming out. I chased after him from the topmost floor where I stay to the second floor, where I caught up with him. I tried to reason with him and all he said was a curt “It’s fine”, before saying that he would wait in the bar that was on the ground floor.
I was with my friends till about 8:45-ish. They left and I went to meet Zamani, where he was sitting and brooding. I tried talking to him but he wasn’t having it. At about 9:15, he stood up and walked out on me toward the gate of the building. I asked him where he was headed and he said he was going to meet a friend. This friend was a Grindr hookup who had come to see him with a car. I asked him if he was sleeping out and he said no. I told him that means he couldn’t be with that guy, seeing as it was getting to 10. He assured me that they were just going to talk. I watched him get into the car, and the next thing I knew, the car was zooming off. The time was 9:30 PM.
I called him, asking him where they were going because I really didn’t want any issues with the management of the building. In response, he shouted at me to leave him alone. I told him that if he was not in the house by 9:45 and the gates get locked, he would have to find somewhere else to sleep, because I would not beg the security to open the gate for him. He returned five minutes later, fuming about how his date had vexed and asked him if he was staying with a relative that won’t allow him sleep out (meaning, he gave the guy the wrong impression and was also trying to lie to me). The situation escalated into an argument, and even when I was on a call with my mother at some point, he was yelling at the top of his voice at me, clearly wanting to be heard by my caller.
He later told me that he wanted to go back home and that I should give him the money for his trip. I reminded him that that wasn’t our agreement regarding his trip to Abuja. He got even more pissed off and there was some more shouting.
I eventually slept off. I woke up on Wednesday morning and tried to speak to him about what happened, and he snapped that I should forget it, that it was past. As I got dressed for work and started heading out, a part of me was cautioning me to not go to work, that I should call in sick and stick around at home, just to monitor the situation with Zamani.
But I reasoned that he couldn’t possibly do anything to hurt me, seeing as we’d known each other so long, and had gotten close enough for him to even visit me at my family house.
I really should have listened to my gut.
When I got to the office, I remembered that I’d forgotten my laptop at home and I started calling Zamani to know if he was home for me to come collect my laptop. I’d left my house keys with him. He didn’t answer my call. I called him six times, none of which went through. I began to panic and took an immediate Bolt ride back home. I had to break in, because nobody was answering my knocks.
And my heart almost stopped when I walked into what was now an almost-emptied room.
Zamani had robbed me!
From then till now, I haven’t heard from Zamani or seen him or my things. He has even blocked me across all social media platforms. I have tried a couple of avenues to try and get to him, including a queer group called National Kito Alert, which asked me for 5, 000 naira for them to track him. I paid 4, 000 naira, and till now, I have gotten no result from them.
I reached out to JP Crime Fighter, and following the post he made, it would seem that word got back to Zamani, and to defend his actions, he’s been telling people that I raped him, and he stealing from me was payback. A couple of people have entered my social media inbox to say nonsense to me about how I deserved to be robbed for what I did to Zamani. This is a hateful lie that is peddled by a spiteful thief.
This whole situation has gotten to the point where even my family now knows I was robbed and things are strained between me and my parents.
However, I will try to move on and get past the theft. And may Abubakar Malaika aka Zamani get what’s coming to him someday soon.